Day on the Lake

Cruz in his own boat at home with his new life jacket on!

Shawn, Cruz, and I had a day at Utah Lake. We had a really fun time and I even barefoot water skied. When Shawn and I were dating he took me out. Then 2 years later I went barefooting with some of his friends from Wisconsin, so it was fun to go out again today. We bought Cruz his very own life jacket. He was so funny trying to move around in it. Technically he could move, but he had it in his mind he couldn't move, so when he started to fall he would not bend a single bone and fall straight down....it was kinda funny to watch, luckily he didn't get too hurt.
Daddy and Cruz on the lake
Cruz flying!

Swan Valley June 20-22

My brother Russ came into town on Thursday night and we all headed up to Swan Valley on Friday afternoon. Russ drove mom and dad in the Jeep and we were not too far behind in our truck. We got there and the sun was sparkling on the Snake River and my parents were out on the deck, it was so beautiful. We had an enjoyable weekend, and I hope my dad had fun. It is so hard because up there are all the things he loves to do, but with this disease he his unable to do them. I hope that just by being in that pretty environment it lifted his spirits. Cruz had fun. My uncle took us on a boat ride down the Snake River. Cruz wasn't so sure about the ride, partly because he was confined in my arms, and he hates to have to sit still. I tried snapping pictures inconspicuously of my dad because he wouldn't want anyone to see him in a wheelchair. It is hard to express my feelings right now, but I am trying to stay positive and enjoy these moments with my family and my parents. Actually in most of these pictures I think my dad looks pretty good. I wish he felt as good as he looked!!!

Kaskade

As many of you know my brother Ryan is a DJ under the name of Kaskade. I think he is so talented and amazing and I love his music. He has been so busy with DJing, he produces during the week and then travels every weekend to play at different clubs around the world. I think he is in Brazil this coming weekend. Ryan never tuts his own horn. He happen to tell my while I was in San Francisco that he made a song for Coca Cola and the Beijing Olympics. I couldn't believe he hadn't told me that earlier. Any way, I came home and found the link to the Coca Cola web page. His song is playing when you first open up the page. Then you can click on his picture and a bottle of Coke comes up. This bottle was designed by a Chinese artists specifically for "Kaskade". His song plays as the Coke bottle spins around. They are going to be selling these bottle during the Olympics and at Coca-Cola stores. Just thought I would give a shout out to DJ Kaskade!!! Click on the link to see the page:

http://www.coca-cola.com/template1/index.jsp?locale=en_US&site=../we8/we8.jsp

Frankenstein Arms

I am trying to be a good mom and to spend time with Cruz, capture growing moments with Cruz, and to love Cruz. He is so lovable that is easy, but sometimes I feel guilty because my thoughts are constantly on my dad and mom when I am not with them. I know life continues on and Cruz continues to grow, so I am doing my best to be a good mommy to Cruz and capture every moment I can, because I know they are precious and will pass soon.



This week Cruz has really gotten the hang of the walking thing. He does these funny "Frankenstein Arms" when he walks though. It is so funny to me. He walks all over the house with his hands out. The picture doesn't even do it justice. I know in a few days he will feel more comfortable and not need to do that. Today we went to the public pool for a little bit. We had a lot of fun. Cruz really likes the water. I was so happy to take him. I have been looking so forward to be able to take my own children to the pool. For many years while I was single I would go with my sister in laws and their children to the pool, and I was green with envy. I am so happy we have little Cruz to play with, he was well worth the wait.

Happy Fathers Day!

Grandpa and Cruz when Cruz was 2 weeks old...one of my favorite pictures!

Today I have tried to focus on all the wonderful men in my life that have taught me so much. The first man (from birth) in my life is my dad. I love my dad so much, words can't even express. Sure, I had those moments in my teen years where I thought he was being too hard on me, but looking back I am so glad he taught me so many wonderful lessons, and some of them weren't easy to learn. My dad is my hero in so many ways. I always wanted friends to meet my parents because I thought they were so cool, that isn't too common. I hate watching my dad struggle with this recent trial, a diagnoses of CJD. It is horrible to see him have to go through this, but I am trying to capture all the good moments with him. Cruz and I are lucky enough to visit daily. My dad still has his sense of humor and he has made us both crack up....that is my dad! I don't want to get too lengthy, but he is just an amazing man!

Cruz made a card for daddy!

The second man to come into my life is Shawn. I love my husband. He is such a wonderful husband and father. He has had to pick up a lot of slack over the last month while I have been bombarded with emotions. But of course, no complaints from him, just a friendly hug and kiss and more of "how can I help you?" Shawn continues to amaze me daily! I am grateful to Shawn's dad Rick for letting his wife come out to Utah for a week while I went to San Francisco. I know it is hard to be without your spouse for a week, but Rick, we appreciated everything you guys do for us, thank you!
Cruz helping dad open his gifts!

I have a little man in my life who I love so much. Little Man Cruz is doing great. He just goes with the flow! He is such a mover and a shaker. He constantly has to be doing something. Our main man!

Bitter Sweet

I am so happy to be back home with my 2 sweet boys, but it is so bitter sweet. I left for San Francisco with my parents last Sunday. We went to UCSF to see if my dads diagnoses for CJD was accurate. I wanted and prayed and pleaded for a different outcome. I wanted the doctors to find something else going on with my dad, something that had some sort of treatment or surgery. Unfortunately, their test results confirmed the CJD diagnoses. CJD is one of those very rare diseases (1 out of 1 million people), that has no cure at the moment. The other strange thing is that it is TOTALLY RANDOM. The doctors have no idea how this happens to someone (there is one form of CJD that you get from eating bad meat, but he doesn't have that one). I am so glad Ryan, Naomi, and their 2 girls Mia and Sasha were around (because they live in SF) to help for the week. Plus, little kids always brighten any situation. We are back in SLC and my dad is doing great considering the circumstances. Basically, bad folding proteins are taking over his brain. He is determined to fight this, and I give him kudos for that. I am lucky to have a mother-in-law that was wiling to drop everything and come out and play with her grandson. I knew I was leaving Cruz and Shawn in great hands, and that was nice to know I didn't have to worry about them while I was gone. We went up to Snowbird today to show Kathy ALL of the snow we still have and to take Cruz sledding.

13 months old!

Cruz is 13 months old today. Yesterday, he started taking steps on his own (not being prompted by mom or dad). After he would walk a few steps he would clap for himself, another new trick of his. We have had lots of people coming and going the last few weeks and it is going to continue. Luckily Cruz is so adaptable and LOVES people. He also LOVES to walk around with his walker. We take his walker over to grandpa's house and they are twiners with their walkers. We have been hanging out with Gramps almost every day. It is a good diversion for us and for him. Cruz is so funny to watch, my dad gets a kick out of him.

I forgot to download a few pictures from Yellowstone from my camera. I thought I would just post these.



I am going to San Francisco with my parents on Sunday. My dad is going to be getting more testing done by the top experts on the brain. Please pray for us!