Pappa

My dad was diagnosed with CJD on Thursday May 29th, 2008. Russ, Ali, and their kids drove out to Utah the following day. Ali took these photos. I ordered them when she sent them to me a couple of months ago but I put them away when I got them, just too painful to look at. I found the folder of pictures today as I was cleaning off a shelf, the tears are flowing freely. I wanted to put these pictures on our blog though because this blog represents Cruz's scrapbook and the events that went on in his life. Cruz, Grandpa or "pappa" as we called him loved you so much. As you can see in the picture, he was holding on to you for dear life. He didn't and doesn't want any harm to come to you. Even though you don't get to play with him, fish with him, or have him float you down the Snake River, he is watching out for you. He is there helping you and pushing you to do good in your life. Out of all the grandkids, you knew him the shortest amount of time, but I think he felt closest to you because he almost saw you everyday of your life! Lots of days you and I would go up to pappa and grandmas house to play and hang out. They were so fun to be around. Cruz, without a doubt, I know pappa loves you and is there for you.



I contemplate how I can be smiling in these photos but I think when you are in the moment of crisis you just push through and try to do the best you can do. Grandpa wanted to fight this thing to the end and so as his support group we took on that attitude of fighting instead of grief and hopelessness. It is a great lesson to learn...when we face hard times in our life we need to look at it and face it with courage and determination, and that is what grandpa taught me. Thank you pappa for all the lessons you taught me and hopefully I will pass them down to Cruz!