I gave a talk in church yesterday, on fathers day! I included it here:
Cruz and I have been reading the book, “Wonder” together. This book is about a boy that was born with a severely disfigured face. We have read about his challenges and struggles as he attends school for the first time after being homeschooled for many years. It is an eye-opening book that helps teach compassion and empathy for all people, as we all struggle with various challenges, some more obvious than others.
In the book there is a line I love that says, “Your deeds are your monuments.” Auggie, the severely disfigured boy goes on to explain, “The things we do, not how we look, outlast mortality. They’re like the pyramids that the Egyptians build to honor the pharaohs. Only instead of being made out of stone, they’re made out of the memories people have of you. That’s why your deeds are like your monuments. Built with memories instead of stone.”
I’d like to talk today day about some of the monuments of the fathers close to me and how their deeds have impacted the lives of those around them.
On this Father’s Day and on most days my thoughts are turned to my dad. My dad was one of those people that LOVED life. He was very outgoing, loved to talk, loved to laugh, and loved people. He wanted to know everything about people and everyone usually ended up loving my dad because they knew he cared about them. He had this grin that would light up a room. He was also an extremely hard worker. He grew up in a house that did not have a lot of money, so therefore he usually had 2 jobs at a time while he was in school. He was able to pay for his own mission, put himself through college, and then continued on to get his MBA. My dad loved to compete with himself and with others. He usually titled himself “athlete of the ward” or “ping pong champ” amongst us kids. He was just fun to be around.
During his life he created a successful consulting business called Raddon Financial Group. He had a passion for banking and for doing “his best,” therefore he worked long hours and traveled most of the week to different clients across the country. Although he was extremely committed to his career, my dad’s first priorities were his family and his membership in the Gospel. No matter how much he traveled during the week, he made time for church callings. In fact, during the most stressful time in his career, my dad was bishop. He didn’t waiver in giving service to those in the ward and in our area, even though he was going through an extremely difficult time himself.
Seven years ago this summer my dad passed away. We miss him more than I can express.
One of my dad’s employees, who isn’t a member of this Church and who is still employed by Raddon Financial Group, sent my family a letter a year after my dad passed, I want to read some parts:
Quote:
“I am thinking so much of Gary today, remembering what a remarkable person he was to me in my own life. It’s hard to fathom the impact one person can have on a life, but anyone who knew Gary knew him as one with infinite capacity to give. Gary gave of himself and all he had available to him to anyone open to his gifts. The other thing sticking out in my memory as one of the strongest and most vivid experiences rooted in my relationship with Gary was his value of family. Meeting and sharing in all your lives was an expression of that. He opened up his family to me and in so doing made his family part of my family. Crossing Gary Raddon’s path so many years ago was the start of a gift I’ll never forget. “
Another employee wrote:
“Gary was a man of great integrity and wisdom. Anyone who knew Gary was a better person for the mere fact of knowing him. He had a profound impact on my life and so many others as well.”
While my dad was sick and when he passed we received so many personal letters and notes expressing love for him and the impact he had on so many lives. His deeds really were his monument. And I know he would say in large part that was due to his knowledge that he had of a loving Heavenly Father. Our small way of returning that love is through our actions and the way we treat others. I think my father had a pretty good understanding of this.
I see so much of my dad in my 3 older brothers. They also show their love to our Heavenly Father by their actions.
My oldest brother Russ lives in Sandy, Utah with his family. I am so grateful for his example to me of a person that is honest, hard working, and very faithful. His friend and business partner says: “Although Russ has an unparalleled work ethic, I most admire his commitment to those around him. Russ is amazingly perceptive and insightful when it comes to understanding the needs of others. While most people today are concerned about how to take care of themselves, Russ always seems to be tuned in to how to help others be their best. I will always appreciate Russ's loyalty, commitment and leadership. Additionally, I love that Russ enjoys living in the moment and making the most out of the opportunities he has. Russ has a zest for life that is contagious and inspiring.”
My 2nd bother Rich lives in the LA area with his family. One of his deeds has become a very public monument. And unfortunately, at this time, there are many that scorn this monument. When his bishop asked the ward to donate to the Church’s efforts to pass Proposition 8, he did so, as he upheld his commitment to sustain the leaders of the Church. At the time, Rich was the director of the LA Film Festival. Eventually, the fact of his donation became public knowledge, and the media denounced him as a bigot and called for a boycott of the film festival. He stepped down from his position as the director of the Film Festival because of the negative attention it was bringing to the festival. He was told he would never work in LA again. He lost many professional and personal friends. I suspect the fate of Richard’s monument will be similar to that of the Western Wall of Herod’s temple. Thousands of years after the temple’s destruction, many revere it. Though he is no longer welcome in the film industry, Richard has been greatly blessed in his career since he left the festival. And I think eventually, though perhaps not in this life, the monument of his deed will become something Richard is respected for as a mark of his devotion.
His example, along with the example of others, influenced his 26 year old executive assistant to join the church.
Of this, she wrote,
“I will be forever grateful to Heavenly Father for putting Rich in my path. He lives out the word of God in everything he does, and reminds me time after time that when you hand your imperfections to God, you can become whole again. He loves simply, with a whole heart, without boundaries. Though our chatter surrounding the newest cookie shop on the street or his son Ezra’s latest phrase remains memorable, nothing can replace the words exchanged regarding our latest Sunday fast, or the testimony we heard on the pulpit. It is these very Monday morning exchanges that eventually prompted me to act on my faith- being baptized just a year and a half ago. With Rich (and his wife Katie) by my side, it grew abundantly clear that this exuding behavior had to have derived from one source- the overflowing love of Christ.”
My 3rd brother Ryan also lives in the LA area with his family. Ryan has a career in the music industry, in a genre that has a reputation for drug use. Ryan has made it known that he doesn’t drink or do drugs, and that those things aren’t necessary to enjoy the rhythm and melody. He also tries to create music that is uplifting. Fans have reached out to Ryan to express their gratitude for the impact this message and his music has had on their lives. It is cool for him, a bit overwhelming, and very humbling. He has shared a few stories of fans reaching out to him to let him know the role his example and music have played in them becoming drug free. One fan that was LDS, but had fallen away from the church, came back to the Church and decided to go on mission, and cited Ryan’s example as a significant influence in this.
In another fan’s letter, he said, “I was going through a really rough time back in 2012, I had no where to turn and then I started listening to your music. Your music helped me realize that the light is always at the end of the tunnel, I really just have to go find it. You were the light in my tunnel, and I'm eternally grateful for that.”
My brothers were able to witness my dad’s example –his “monuments and deeds” during his life. Likewise, they try their best to “do good continually” and it has clearly impacted those around them.
Shawn is the father to our children, and I really couldn’t ask for a better dad for my children. I have never met someone so selfless. He is always helping friends, strangers, and our family. When we were dating Shawn stopped to help someone on the side of the road that was having car trouble, I remember being extremely touched by this. Shawn wants to spend time with the kids, and the kid’s love doing things with their dad. He is always serving me and the kids. He is one of the hardest workers I know. And although church isn’t his thing, he is willing to come with us so we can be together as a family. I am so grateful for Shawn.
I love these men in my life. I am grateful for their example to me. I am also mindful on this Father’s day of our Father in Heaven. Our Heavenly Father loves us so much. He wants us to strive to do good, be good, and follow his examples. When we sin, he wants us to repent, and return to Him, He is waiting for us. We can better understand and love our Father in Heaven as we study the scriptures, learn of him, and pray to Him. The more we know about someone the more we love them.
Elder Holland in his talk entitled, The Grandeur of God, relays a scene that takes place in the Pearl of Great Price.
“There, in the midst of a grand vision of humankind which heaven opened to his view, Enoch, observing both the blessings and challenges of mortality, turns his gaze toward the Father and is stunned to see Him weeping. He says in wonder and amazement to this most powerful Being in the universe: “How is it that thou canst weep?...Thou are just and merciful and kind forever; Peace is the habitation of thy throne, and mercy shall go before they face and have no end; how is it thou canst weep?”
Looking out on the events of almost any day, God replies: “Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, I give unto them a commandment that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood. Wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?”
I am in awe when I ponder this scene. I think as I became a parent, this scene became that much more raw to me. I love my children so much. Even though they can be naughty sometimes, I love them beyond words. I can just imagine our Heavenly Father weeping, because He loves us unconditionally. He wants our happiness above all else. I can empathize with His sadness as he sees His children not being kind or choosing a path that He knows will lead to unhappiness.
Elder Holland goes on to say, “that single, riveting scene does more to teach the true nature of God than any theological treatise could ever convey.”
As we come to really know our Heavenly Father, we want to show our love to Him by following His commandments and loving our brothers and sisters. I am thankful on this Fathers Day for my father, my husband, and my brothers— the men in my life whose monuments have inspired me to try and be better. I am grateful for those feelings I have had since my father’s passing that I know he knows what is going on with me and my family. I am grateful for my knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father, who loves us, wants the best for us, and is there for us.
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